FDA Warns Botox Causes Infection and Death

Funny story written by Felix Minderbinder

Wednesday, 28 May 2008

image for FDA Warns Botox Causes Infection and Death
Botox victim

WASHINGTON (FMLiveWire) - The FDA has announced that after intensive investigations it has determined that Botox injections lead to infection and death.

"The poor bastards who think they can make age lines vanish with Botox are deluded and totally doomed," said FDA chief Ralph Roachman.

"Botox is in reality Botulinum toxin, a deadly neurotoxin produced by the bacterium Clostridium botulinum. It is one of the most poisonous naturally occurring substances in the world, and also the most toxic protein," cautioned the bureaucrat.

The bacterium often causes poisoning by growing in meat products, but opportunistic doctors and companies have commercialized it to treat muscle spasms, sweating, migraines, dystonia, age-related wrinkles, and other related medical and cosmetic conditions, noted Roachman.

The FDA approved using the deadly nerve agent for various conditions, and as of 2006 Botox injection is the most common cosmetic operation in the USA.

Many deaths have already been attributed to the use of Botox, and on February 8, 2008, the FDA announced that Botox has "been linked in some cases to adverse reactions, including respiratory failure and death, following treatment of a variety of conditions using a wide range of doses" due to its ability to spread to areas distant to the site of the injection.

There has been a petition by Public Citizen to the FDA requesting regulatory action concerning the possible spread of botulinum toxin from the site of injection to other parts of the body.

Botulinium toxin has been weaponized by many governments for biological warfare.

During "Operation Mongoose" in 1961, the CIA saturated some of Fidel Castro's favorite cigars with botulinum toxin for an assassination attempt.

The notorious Japanese biological warfare group Unit 731 fed botulinum cultures to prisoners during Japan's occupation of Manchuria in the 1930s.

--Copyright Felix Minderbinder Live Wire

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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