Austria - (Rotten Ass Mess): A top University of Humbug archaeology professor working on a search for the Ark of the Covenant has contacted Amstetten police with vital new data.
Prof Herr Zigmund Doppelganger says his biblical treasure excavations in the 1960s found a tunnel running from the Vatican all the way to the Austrian scandal town.
Artefacts found in the tunnel complex were identified as pre-Hitlerian era worship parapernalia and were traced to Theosophy nutter Madame Blavatsky's Arian cult which formed the bedrock of Nazi inspiration.
Prof Doppelganger recently claimed to have discovered the remains of the Queen of Sheba's palace in a site two miles away from Amstetten where incest nutter Joseph Fritzl imprisoned his daughter in a hideous underground dug-out cellar for 24 years.
The Queen of Sheba remains conspiracy theorists' top candidate for stealing and hiding the Ark of the Covenant, which nutters believe to be a strongbox containing mystical treasure.
Some Third Reich descendants are convinced Hitler found the precious whoard and hid it in relatives' land back home in Austria.
The case continues.
