Oregon Is Varting!

Funny story written by Pointer

Sunday, 13 April 2008

image for Oregon Is Varting!
Varts, off the coast of Oregon, rival the Aurora Borealis

Grants Pass Gas, OR. - Scientists listening to rumblies in the tumbly of the central Oregon off- coastal area are reporting more than 600 gaseous emissions from a basin off the coast of Newport, OR, over the past 10 days.

The basin, known as San Juan de Frijoles has been the site of other periods of breaking wind over the years Oregon State University has been studying the area.

Dr. Roberta Vart of OSU Geophysics lab explains: "The earth and the sea are not that different from the mammalian digestive system. Solids and liquids go in and they mix around. Eventually they are broken down and their component parts are assimilated and some need to be released. What goes in, must come out, Newton would have said, had he studied figs instead of apples."

Citizens of Grants Pass Gas have found the scientific furor quite funny. Otis Tooter, a fifth generation Grants Pass Gasser, and CEO of the Grants Pass Gas Company reminded: "This has always been a quite eruptive region. Gas has, is and will always find its way out. What's the big deal? Fart, vart or burp, it's all the same...that's how we Oregonians spell relief!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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