Preventing school shootings has a new scientific solution being tried out at the University of Kentucky. Strange and disturbing behavior is what the new center's panel is on the look out for.
Center director former Civil War Colonel Stonewall Wallstone explained that the center can have the students exhibiting these behaviors followed, isolated, banned, expelled or imprisoned.
The Colonel said: "In Kentucky we know what normal is and we know what strange is and if you are strange in Kentucky you are probably really dangerous. Kentuckians have tolerated racist lynchings, incest and bestiality. We have a high level of tolerance and broad definition of normal behavior. If your actions set off alarms in the average Kentuckian chances are you are pretty fucked up!"
Campus Psychologist Howdid I. Getstukin-Kentuck is the sole dissenter concerning the new program. She commented: "So let's see. We are going to tail already possible paranoids and persecute people who have been driven near or completely crazy by every bully and authority figure since birth. We will drive them into corners who kick them out of school altogether. And this will prevent violence?"
