Space Race: Stars and Stripes to be replaced by Planets and Chevrons

Funny story written by queen mudder

Thursday, 27 March 2008

image for Space Race: Stars and Stripes to be replaced by Planets and Chevrons
Planets & Chevrons banner will uproot the old Stars ''n' Stripes

San Ramon, California - (NASA Mess): The Dow Jones-quoted Chevron Oil Corp is up and ready to begin commercial mining operations of the Moon's Helium-3 non-radioactive isotope gas reserves by 2015.

The Bollinger Boulevard-based big oil giant is recruiting hard in human as well as alien resources ahead of its planned mission to rebrand the tarnished US flag of convenience with the brilliant new Planets & Chevrons banner.

Chevron, the second largest US oil corporation, is also believed to be ready to pounce on the beleaguered Exxon-Mobil Corp which many claim is a sitting duck for a strategic takeover by this summer when its Prince William Sound appeals adjudication will be made final.

The new mega-Chevron Corp will then proceed with its commercial objectives in second-generation fusion power generation as a precursor to taking over the space race from NASA.

Its lunar mining operations will target an estimated five hundred billion trillion cubic feet of liquid Helium-3 reserves which scientists believe are embedded in the upper layer of regolith.

A key Chevron hydrocarbons partner is believed to be the reclusive and enigmatic copyright owner of the original Apollo Mission blueprints which NASA lost in a shameful stitch-up with the Bush family.

These blueprints form a small but vital basis for the next generation of space travel technology which according to reliable scientific sources "will make today's Space Shuttle seem like a horse and cart by comparison."

Condoleezza Rice is spitting venom.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more