San Diego, California - A small private biotech lab exempt from federal law prohibiting the growth of human clones located in San Diego, California, has claimed to be the first ever to have successfully cloned a human being from an embryo.
Scientists decided to name the clone "Manuel" after the DNA skin sample they took from the lab's custodian, before destroying it shortly thereafter. Although it is yet to be verified, the claim has reopened the controversial medical ethics debate on human cloning.
"It seemed the proper thing to do," said Terry Mockly, chief biologist at the biotech company. "We did not want it…I mean Manuel, or the world, to think that just because it…I sorry, Manuel, was a clone that it…again, I'm dreadfully sorry, I mean, Manuel, didn't have the same dignity, like any other human being, before we destroyed him."
Reportedly, Manuel in addition to being the first viable human clone ever successfully grown in a lab also is credited for being the first ever-assigned duties that he preformed around the lab for the scientists and supporting staff.
"Of course everything is a first when you're the first of anything," said Mockly. "But we are prod to say that Manuel executed his duties with no complaints right up until we executed him."
Some of the duties Manuel preformed included: emptying out the office trash bins, vacuuming, dusting, making coffee in the morning, picking up lunch, washing the cars and watching the kids and taking the family dog for a walk.
"I think Manuel being able to do all that labor things proves to the scientific community that a viable clone is not lazy but a hard worker, capable of doing the same things a human being does without having to treat him like a human being," said Mockly. "Just think of the possibilities."
Mockly invasions that clones will solve some of greatest challenges facing our modern society like illegal immigration, prostitution, the legalization hunting down of human beings and reinstitution of the slave trade.
"Finally, we won't have to import a cheep labor force from Mexico or Canada to do the work we don't want to do anymore," said Mockly. "Or having to be bothered filling out those nasty intern evaluation forms for college credit."
Manuel was given the opportunity to say goodbye to all the friends he made during his brief lifetime and even given his last rights before he was killed.
It is believed that Manuel did not feel any pain at the time of his death, according to Mockly.
Although it was reported that he was heartbroken, just before his death, as he had received notice that his petition to the United Nations asking them that he be granted the same inalienable rights of a human being was rejected.
"The U.N. rejected him because I wouldn't sponsor him," said Mockly. "I mean what would be the point, right? I mean what do you think every mad scientists on the planet with access to lab and corporate funding is in a rush to create the Frankenstein monster and, in effect, make a new subclass of human beings to be exploited?"
