Mars Sees Return of Canals After 200 Years

Funny story written by drugtestallpoliticians

Thursday, 13 December 2007

Pasadena, California (IP)- Scientists at the Jet Propulsion Lab (JPL) were puzzled when both of their rovers on the the Martian surface came to a sudden stand still. Their cameras showed nothing but a blurry green mass.

When the Martian orbiters came into position above the rovers it was discovered that long green lines had appeared exactly where the rovers were positioned and these lines were not apparent 24 hours before.

The Hubble telescope was aimed at the red planet and it verified the two Martian orbiters observations.

A great debate ensued behind closed doors at the JPL and it was even reported that a couple of fist fights broke out during the raucous meeting.

When the doors finally opened astronomer Dr. Povenmire Finootch emerged from the meeting with a black eye and announced the astounding news to reporters that the Martian canals had reappeared after an absence of almost two centuries.

The Martian canals had first been obserevd by Giovanni Schiaparelli in 1877 and verification and mapping of the canals later became the life long obsession of Percival Lowell who is also known for his work that led to the discovery of the planetoid Pluto. Pluto has been declassified as a planet. Dr. Povenmire Finootch has also been working on Martian Canal theory and he accurately predicted that the canals appear every 150 to 200 years in a cycle influenced by the periodic eruption of a Martian volcano that spews forth water rather than lava.

The periodic eruptions of the watery Martian volcano create a terra-forming effect by increasing the barometric pressure in the Martian atmosphere and thus allowing water to flow through ancient channels that criss cross the Martian surface. The water triggers the rapid growth of algae and other green life forms. This has become known as the Povenmire effect and Dr. Povemire was the first to theorize that a 150 to 200 year gravitational cycle induced by the planet Jupiter was responsible for setting off the watery mountain on Mars.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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