Secret to Cold Fusion Found, then Lost

Funny story written by Jeff Brone

Tuesday, 20 November 2007

image for Secret to Cold Fusion Found, then Lost
You can make it in a coffee mug, apparently.

Three scientists in Encinitas, CA claim to have unlocked the secret to efficient and easily reproducible cold fusion, then lost the secret due to, as they describe it, "trying to do too many things at once."

Lars Hedson of Helmond Multinational Laboratories said he and his colleagues found the answer to the sought after process, but then couldn't find it later, although "they knew it was there, they just had it." Hedson added "It was weird, I was just looking at it, and I guess I set it down and couldn't find where I put it. I looked everywhere, even in that drawer with all the stuff, the one with the scissors, the magnesium, the old Bunsen burners. I don't know how we find anything in there. Anyway, I just couldn't locate it."

Associate Peter Carlin advised Hedson to "look in his pockets" as he is known for absent mindedness. Carlin said that "One time Hedson was looking all over for his glasses, and he was wearing them all the time. It was funny." Carlin is "sure it's there, I mean, where else could it go?" The scientists were careful to think about where they went after making the discovery, hoping to retrace their steps, although one admitted that that particular process "is usually less successful than we think it will be."

Hedson added "I hate to tell my boss that we lost it. We misplaced a theory of the universe just earlier this year. He won't be too happy."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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