FDA warns Impotence Drugs may lead to Hearing Loss

Funny story written by Robert W. Armijo

Saturday, 20 October 2007

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Viagra making all men feel as if they are as dangerous as a loaded gun in their pocket once again

Washington, DC - As we all now know, impotence drugs produce the much-desired effect of the prolonged erection of the male penis, or as it is commonly known in laymen terms: "Super-Boner" "Wonder Woody" or "Bionic-Boinker". Only, what was just revealed by the FDA has many men who use the sexual performance enhancing drugs concerned. For it is reported that in addition to the side effects of diminished or total loss of vision, men are coming forth complaining of hearing loss as well.

What remains unclear in the reports of the diminished or total of vision and hearing is loss is whether they are due to the onset of advanced age, loss of blood flow to the brain or females screaming out loud in uncontrollable fits of sexual orgasmic ecstasy.

"The average age of my customers buying these male enhancement performance drugs are well into their 70s," said Joe Raynard, pharmacists. "So it could be their age just catching up to them, and not the effects of the drug at all."

It is well known medical fact that while experiencing an erection that blood flow is transferred from all areas of the higher functioning parts of the brain to the lower extremities of the male body, in particular the penis, according to all major medical journals.

"It's no wonder women complain that we're not good listeners, or that we fall asleep immediately after sex, while they're so talkative," said Prof. Tom Jimenez of the Mayo Clinic. "Or even that we are able to remain conscious for that long of a duration while engaged in sexual intercourse without passing out, or doing serious damage to the brain and not just our long-term relationships."

"Lack of blood flow could account for the hearing loss," said a spokesman for Viagra. "But I believe experiencing hearing loss is just another ringing endorsements and testimonial to our products performance."

However, the makers of Viagra claim to remain sensitive to their customers needs so they will be repackaging their product line, just in time for the holidays, with free Speedo ear plugs and a $10.00 dollar coupon good towards either a hearing examination, or kneepads, for your loved ones with every prescription renewal.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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