Bob Dole to Appear in New Viagra Ad Campaign

Written by Doug Burrell

Monday, 23 April 2007

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image for Bob Dole to Appear in New Viagra Ad Campaign
Back then, it was "any hole's a goal"

Former Senator Bob Dole is set to appear in Viagra's new television ad campaign promoting their newest product, "Two-Bagger Viagra". Company spokeswoman, Mariann Caprino, says the the new drug helps men who are no longer physically attracted to their wives, but who still want to "bang 'em from time to time." The new version of Viagra works the same way as the original, but it temporarily blinds the user while he has an erection.

The one-time Presidential candidate who has endorsed Viagra in the past, says "Two-Bagger Viagra" has helped his marriage to North Carolina Senator, Elizabeth Dole, tremendously. "Used to be I could get it up with Viagra, but when I looked at Lizzy's body, it'd go right back down. Now, since I can't see while we're having sex, we're both happy and satisfied." Mrs. Dole also says she likes it because "using paper bags never really worked since you can't find any that cover my whole body."

Bob Dole is said to also be considering another run for the White House if the new commercials become a hit. For the record, rumors that Bill Clinton is set to appear in upcoming ads for the product cannot be verified.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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