Written by queen mudder

Friday, 22 June 2007

image for 'Mile-high UFO' spotted by British airline pilot
"And they were all bonking inside just like on exotic long-haul Virgin Airways flights"

Channel Islands - (Rioters): A British airline pilot has reported the first sighting of a mile-high club UFO over the Channel Islands.

The bizarre sighting by Aurigny Airlines captain Ray Bowyer is the lead story of this month's Pilot magazine and features an interview with the pilot.

The object is described as a "cigar-shaped brilliant white light" that appeared to be bouncing up and down rhythmically "as if in the throes of coitus".

"It was the strangest thing I have ever seen in my 30 year career," Bowyer said.

"Luckily I had my binoculars with me as well as a camcorder and managed to film the whole phenomenon as our plane got nearer to the object."

"As we closed in on it I could see a 'very sharp, thin yellow object with a green area'.

"On closer inspection you could see portholes about one metre in diameter. And behind those were countless 'beings' who appeared to be performing the alien equivalent of traditional mile high club shenanigans.

"Gosh, I thought to myself. So it's not just us! ...er, I mean....not just human passengers on exotic long-haul flights, bouyed by too much freebie champagne and erotic movies on the in-flight video system!

"At 5,000 the craft was stationary but kept bouncing up and down, about six feet either way.

"Then suddenly it stood still and an audible sigh was heard emanating from the craft as a few after-shock tremors rippled across the craft.

"I continued to watch and film it on my camcorder as suddenly the UFO turned about 180 degrees and made off rapidly into the sunset.

"My co-pilot Boris swears blind that the silent craft left behind it a curious plume of smoke, which was odd because it had no engines or exhaust system.

"We've wondered ever since if it might have been the alien equivalent of cigarette smoke that emanated from an open porthole just before the craft sped away.

"Make sense in a way, wouldn't it?

"That post-coital ciggie is probably universal all over the cosmos."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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