Romulus, Michigan - (Uncivil Aviation News): The worldwide Mile High Club was reeling with incomprehension today at yet another Northwest Airlines variation of the time-honored tradition of what is supposed to happen in airplane lavatories apart from dumping and ablutions.
This week the airline was forced to cancel a flight from Las Vegas to Detroit because of erratic behavior by a pilot who locked himself inside a plane's forward lavatory while screaming obscenities as passengers boarded.
"That's erratic with two arse...er, two..."r"s and an "a" and not erotic," said a spokesman from the Transportation Security Administration workers at McCarran International Airport.
The incident took place as passengers boarded and became startled at the pilot who was "acting strange" according to witnesses.
"He entered the forward lavatory, locked the door and continued a very agitated conversation," said one onlooker.
"I could hear this diatribe of garbage coming out of the cubicle and thought it's either a kinky sex session or a solo endeavor with additional cussing for atmosphere purposes."
"Maybe it was a lovers' tiff but nobody saw a second party when the pilot emerged looking sweaty and ruffled, tears pouring from his face and his flies still undone."
All 180 passengers on the flight to Detroit Metropolitan Airport in Romulus were ordered off the plane and the flight was cancelled after airport officials spoke with the captain.
The incident is the second time that Northwest Airlines may have violated the Mile High Club prime objective in less than six weeks.
Last month one of its employees ejaculated on a woman passenger's back after lifting her shirt while she slept on the Seattle to Minneapolis redeye.
His excuse at the time for skipping foreplay formalities?
"Broads these days, SO demanding."
