NASA HQ - (Ass Mess): Scientists have reported that the Mars Rover has found evidence of the Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease variant - or mad cow disease as it is more commonly known -in the new recipie Mars bars which now use bovine offal products instead of vegetable fat.
"We sent in the Rover after public disquiet," a survey team spokesman said today.
"Analysis of a patch of calf's testicle that was churned in the fondant-mixing machine has revealed it is composed of about 90 per cent pure bollox and may be infected with a new mutant form of the deadly syndrome."
"This is a diabolical discovery," said a Food Standards PR. "It makes you wonder what else is in there. No wonder the Veggies are up in arms about it."
The latest sample was examined using the Rover's thermal emission spectrometer, which found a high variant-CJD content.
Pathogens of such toxicity require very little to breed and their lethal potential when interacting with gastric juices can devastate the human organism in a relatively short period of time.
The Mars Rover's next mission is to probe Snickers, Crunchie and Turkish Delight in a bid to confirm rumors of foot-in-mouth disease strains not seen in the confectionary industry since the withdrawal of little pink sugar=coated Pinkie and Perkies in the 1960s.