Psychological analysis of the Super Bowl commercials in comparison to the actual football game yielded a surprising result - There were more acts of brutality during the commercial breaks than on the field in Miami.
AdMan Givem Watt-Daywants explained: "Cave men and their cave women and cave children watch the Bowl to eat,drink and get all riled up. We've known this for years. When his team loses the average cavedweller's testosterone goes down 15%. Victory by 'iz boyz boosts those sex juices by the same percentage. When we learned this, we realized we could keep that hormonal roller coaster goin' by makin' the ads more animalistic than the game".
NFL Spokesperson,Sho Medam Oney,defended the players: "I'm sure they wanted to be more violent but with the rain and the west coast offense of Peyton (Yeah,that's a football player's name!?) and the ponies how can you get a brawl goin'?! Maybe next year we'll kill a cop like those I-talians".
Domestic violence shelters had record evenings across the nation. Social Worker, Piken Upda-Pisas: "Normally we have a flood of battered and bruised women and children crying over how the game got their man going bad. This time the victims were incoherently mourning the "commer-ragie". Sgt Bustem Ritequck had this observation: "None of the perps even knew who was playing in the game. Their drunken arguments were about Budlight and some job search engine. We'd never seen anything like it!".
The FCC were caught off-guard.We had our watchdogs on Prince's crotch looking for a wardrobe malfunction.We didn't even notice the game,never mind the commercials.FCC Watchdog, Brucce Luvdic confirmed the agency's game plan: "They told me to watch crotch and I saluted and said: 'Yess,SSir!'"
