Super Bowl Half-time Show to Involve Human Sacrifice

Written by Pointer

Wednesday, 31 January 2007


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Christian Right wants cheerleaders eaten at SuperBowl

Forget the wardrobe malfunctions this year, Super Bowl Half-time Show planners have decided to do the Roman Coliseum show inspired by the hit HBO series Rome.Ceremonies will be opened by Tyrranus Limpissimus, the fool formerly known as W. When the limpest King of all cries: "Empieza Los Juegos" in his ridiculous Spanglish accent and in an even more absurd Republican attempt to appeal to Hispanic voters, the fun will begin!

Inside sources tell us that wild bears will be driven out on to the gridiron and former members of Saddam Hussein's government will have to wrestle the grizzlies barehanded. After the bloody mess on the field is cleared Act Two of the spectacle will involve wild horses drawing and quartering Texan and Floridian Death Row inmates who have failed to die from malfunctioning electric chairs and misapplied lethal injections.

Advertisers have been tripping over each other to purchase 30 second spots.When asked if they do not fear another Jacksonian Boob-boo, the predominant opinion emerged like this: "There should be no nudity, just good ole American violence. Ad-Exec Celyur Sole explained:"the religious right hates sex 'cause it reminds them of how they were born into this vale of tears. Violence, they adore, because it gives them hope of escape from their sin-bound sacks of flesh".

Coincidentally music for the extravaganza will be provided by Heavy-Metal Christian Rockers,"Sinful Bags of Flesh".

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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