Why They Piss on the Super Bowl

Written by Pointer

Tuesday, 6 February 2007

image for Why They Piss on the Super Bowl
Actual piss

Year after year the hype for Super Bowl after Super Bowl annually falls short of expectations. Monday morning 'round the cooler talk' laments the lame commercials and bemoans the boring game.

Sports psychologist Biff Loman thinks that he's got the answer:

"Name something "Super" in the post-post modern era and you're just invitin' piss and shit. It's akin to puttin' a target on your backside and then askin' why ya' got a pain in the rear.

"In the post-post modern era nothin' is super-No Superman-only a goddam black-haired manikin-No Supernatural-only a do-nothin God that can't even make a world or answer a bloody prayer - No Superglue - well on second thought that stuff works pretty good-too good - once I dropped some on myself when I was repairin' a Hummel naked and glued my scrotum to my dick-Now that warn't very super warn't it?"

Loman suggests that if we really want a truly super bowl in the ppm era, we must gravitate towards a more modest name. Here are a few of Biff's suggestions:

  1. The Pretty darn Good Bowl- Stays positive without the arrogance and pleases the Christians with the euphemism
  2. The Notsobad Bowl-increases the humility and has no swearin' atall.
  3. A whole bunch of clever commercials with a little ball game imbetween

Biff says his favourite is the third choice, he explains: "It appeals to America's real religion and we know how religious we al are here in this super nation...oops."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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