The same advanced medical device, Computer Long Distance Technology (CLDT), that diagnosed VP Cheney's explosive diarrhea at Bush's State of the Union is now reported to have been focused as well on first Lady Laura's Bush while she sat panting next to NBA BIG MAN, Dikembe Mutombo.
CLDT was originally developed as a test device for sexual dysfunction by Coy T. Usinterruptus, a precocious medical tech genius and fraternity president of Delta Omega Venus at Balls State. He was using it to size up the receptivity of potential dates. According to Dr Indira Glandhi, Director of CLDT at Harvard: "We rescued the device and now use it for purely scientific purposes".
Dr Glandhi reports: "Our technician became ill after observing the Vice-President's juicy squirts and bumped into the device. Before we knew it the old computer memory in the machine had taken over and had honed in on Mrs Bush. Holy Shiva,that thing was going off the charts! When we consulted Coy's journals back at the laboratory we discovered that no Clit had ever set off the CLDT like Laura's did.The only thing we could conclude was that this was her first time, eh hem, so to speak".
Mrs. Bush refused to comment on the findings while smoking a cigarette. All that Mr Mutombo would say was that with all the moaning he could hardly hear the President's speech. He added, however, that after he read the speech in the Times the next morning, he realized he hadn't missed much: "I agree with E. T. McCrone - it was just a box of bandaids!"
Then Mutombo leaned over in the bed and asked Laura if she would please stop blowing those annoying smoke rings.
