Global Temperature Drop Likely After Denialist Efforts to Discredit Science

Funny story written by Jaki Treehorn

Friday, 10 March 2017

image for Global Temperature Drop Likely After Denialist Efforts to Discredit Science

Washington - Average Global Temperatures are on track to fall significantly in the next few years, thanks to concerted efforts by individuals and organizations silently funded by energy companies and conservative groups, to debunk the widely accepted theory that human activity is contributing to increasing greenhouse gases and raising average temperatures worldwide.

The trend has already started with the revelation by now President Donald Trump that the global warming phenomenon, accepted as scientific fact by 97% of climate scientists according to NASA surveys, was a Chinese hoax.

"When that comment was revealed during the campaign, we saw a sudden .03 degree drop in the average temperatures we were measuring, which gave us pause considering our previous assumptions" explained Dr. Wildemar Schnoop, a climatologist monitoring the data for the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, whose members also accept the global warming observations and conclusions, despite the fact that global warming is an obvious hoax.

"We have noticed some other noticeable drops in the temperatures since then, including a .04 degree drop when science skeptic Scott Pruitt was appointed to head the EPA, and then just last week when Pruitt declared that carbon dioxide was not a primary contributor to global warming, we saw a sudden .06 degree drop."

"This was the biggest drop since earlier this year, when the Trump administration asked for a list of people who had done climatology studies at the EPA, and everyone who might be on the list hid under their desks for a few weeks. That was a whopping .09 degree drop right there", explained Dr. Schnoop.

He concluded that, with efforts by the industry funded skeptic groups and conservative politicians to debunk climate science and censure climatologists, it is likely the global temperatures will completely reverse the trend currently in place. "My colleagues and I will then need to completely revise our views on the accepted science of global warming", he said.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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