Invention Makes Transporter Beams Possible

Funny story written by Auntie Jean

Monday, 1 December 2014

image for Invention Makes Transporter Beams Possible
Invention centre

An invention has made it possible to make a sheep disappear and appear again 2mm away from its original position. The invention only works with live sheep which sometimes have to be killed when it messes up.

The invention will be on sale in time for Christmas. It will probably be the domain of the super wealthy for the time being though, as it takes one million kilowatts of electricity per second to operate.

The inventor, Dr. Albert Dyson-Heisenberg told our science correspondent this morning that initially the transporter would cost £1.4 billion to cover development costs.

"Sheepdogs will become a thing of the past if the invention stops fucking up " Dr. Dyson-Heisenberg said. "It should be able to move a live sheep 5mm sideways eventually, although it still works out a little expensive. Currently when we throw the switch our electricity bill goes up by £400 000."

The researchers state that they can't predict which direction it will move the sheep in yet and sometimes it makes it a year older and partly cooks it due to the natural laws of Quantum Physics, but Richard Branston has ordered ten of them.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more