MRI scans reveal 2,500 year old Siberian princess died of acute cannabis deficiency

Written by queen mudder

Tuesday, 14 October 2014

image for MRI scans reveal 2,500 year old Siberian princess died of acute cannabis deficiency
Buried in a large canopic jar full of cannabis

Siberia, Russia - An ancient Siberian mummy has tested positive for a cute cannabis deficiency.

MRI scans reveal it 'dislocated her joints' and blew her skull wide open high up in the Altai Mountains circa BC500.

The remains were discovered preserved in a sohpisticated Northern Siberian permafrost grave close to a geologically significant area scheduled for GazProm fracking.

Scientists examining the tomb say she was buried with a large canopic jar full of high grade cannabis indicating a probable medicinal marijuana handout - maybe the first of its kind ever recorded.

They speculate the royal-born woman may have had a congenital condition typical of early Siberians who suffered cannabis deprivation symptoms on account of horrible freezing weather and lack of proper hydroponic equipment.

A number of tattoos showing elaborately carved jewel-encrusted bongs adorn her body which tests show Was probably embalmed in distilled sphagnum moss liquor.

A partially preserved sabre-toothed mammoth was also stoned to death, scientists said.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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