A Halifax Building Society in Slough was the victim of an armed robbery earlier today. Customers were shocked to be confronted by a fully-masked raider brandishing a shotgun. Det Inspector Mike Artridge said, "This was a massively frightening expe…
Researchers in the tomb of Ptooie Punte, Mayor of Memphis Eygpt, discovered that the ancient mummy mayor was packing cheese! Indeed, that cheese contains contaminants that may have killed the pharoah and many in his family. "This cheese causes ext...
It was his first meeting with the press since being unearthed, and he chose the venue (Grand Central Station). He also chose the format. "I will be asking, not answering, questions," he told the startled crowd, continuing, "it's only fair that I go f...
Jaggedone's CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army) immortal reporter, Wan-Kin-Dik, has just sent this amazing story from a monastery in Mongolia. It seems that after discovering a mummified body of a Buddhist monk, living monks are claiming he is not d...
Siberia, Russia - An ancient Siberian mummy has tested positive for a cute cannabis deficiency. MRI scans reveal it 'dislocated her joints' and blew her skull wide open high up in the Altai Mountains circa BC500. The remains were discovered p...
A very confused group of experts have been onto this for a month and still have no solution. "We have an Egyptian mummy, we think, brought here as usual to test the DNA so it could be dated and so we did", stated a DNA Expert in Tucson, Arizona. "...
London - Various Gebelein pre-dynastic mummies, including the notorious West Nile 'Rancid Ginger' from 3400 BC, would not necessarily pass the rigor mortis test according to a British Museum report published today. Excavated in the 19th century by...
The author of mucky book trilogy, 50 Shades of Grey, EL James is said to be unhappy with the label of 'mummy porn' for her series of dirty books. The books are sweeping the nation as 'ladies' take a break from cooking and cleaning to read this abo...
Nightclub, ESSEX: Katie 'JORDAN' Price becomes a Mummy, as friends dress here up in a red towel, so no pictures can be taken of her. Devoted Mummy 'JORDAN' left her children with 'Child Minders', as she sported a red towel at a Night Club with 'M...
GIZA, Egypt - Dr. Gaspar T. Ameri, secret CIA agent, canceled his keynote address on Secrets of the Ancients to meet secretly with TheSpoof.com. Dr. Ameri explained that they have been, for the last 5 years resurrecting mummies, using a newly discov...
In a tell-all-that-suits interview with Hell No! manglezine, Princes William and Harry have agreed their planned memorial service will be 'just what Mummy would have done.'...
Mummy is in the living room, with her 2 (and a weeny bit) year old toddler.
The latest report published by the Institute of Womb Studies (IWS) suggests that hooded youths are more likely to come from backgrounds where motherly love was either not available or not sufficient.
The Mummy - Jim Hotep of Egypt - has returned. After a curse was put on Hotep which condemned him to wander around buildings, wear bandages and strangle people for three thousand years, he has decided to give it all up for a job as a librarian.
The mystery of how the pyramids were built has been claimed to be 'solved' by a French architect. However, his theories have now been categorically debunked by eye witnesses.
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