Written by Bureau

Monday, 10 February 2014

image for Space Station Has Stopped Movement Away From Earth
Ready If Needed

Good news this morning in that the International Space Station has quit moving away from it's regular orbit around the earth.

"We still have no idea what caused it to suddenly move out of it's orbit away from the earth", stated NASA spokesman Alfred Phelps. "We are looking around the whole area and cannot find an answer. Of course, the main thing is that the Space Station has quit moving."

Phelps also told the press that he had been given the go-ahead and release the statement since it was good news. He said they had received thousands of messages from people who were concerned.

"Of course our astronauts families were told earlier."

NASA had also sent information to several experts in their field to try to find out what was happening up there.

"The best information is from Stephen Hawking who told us that the earth has had a couple of near-misses by asteroids and that could have produced a wave that started the station's movement. He has asked us to check closely with the space junk and see if any metal material was also being drawn out of orbit. We are doing that as I speak."

Second message from Hawking: "If the orbit was being headed toward Venus, there were all male or almost all male astronauts and cosmonauts. Perhaps the ladies on Venus were lonely? ha ha ha! Seriously, they seem to be OK."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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