Scientists capture an ideatron at work

Funny story written by IainB

Tuesday, 22 May 2012

image for Scientists capture an ideatron at work
Currently off, but the moment an ideatron hits it....Bam!

"Many people have asked 'where do ideas come from?'," said professor of improbable physics, professor Welton Wobury at Keele University. "We know now."

According to Wobury, when people wearing synthetic fibres walk on carpets made from synthetic fibres, various particles are produced, predominantly electrons, with a smattering of neutrons, one or two positrons and a few ideatrons.

"Humans are almost unique in the animal kingdom," said Wobury. "Our brains can absorb ideatrons. Crows, African grey parrots, dolphins, elephants and duckbill platypus can also absorb the ideatron, but it appears that chimps cannot. However, with it's greater size and density, the human brain can absorb more ideatrons than any other species."

Neurological studies have shown that when an ideatron hits the brain, it sparks off a cascade of creativity.

"Not all ideatrons hit home," said Wobury. "And not all ideas generated get any further than 'oh that's a good idea' before dissipating in the general noise of the brain. Some ideatrons stick."

Interestingly, ideatrons come in wide variety of frequencies, each of which can cause a different idea, or, conversely, the same frequency can cause the same idea in two different brains.

"This is how two people can come up with the same idea," said Wobury. "Additionally, some ideas are ahead of their time, even if they hit the right brain and don't dissipate. Imagine getting an idea for a game like Angry Birds in the 1400s? It is a brilliant idea now, back then it would have been difficult to get people to throw birds at pigs."

In the olden days there were fewer synthetic fibres, if any at all. This led to fewer ideatrons being generated, and instead natural sources of ideatrons were where people got their ideas.

"Daffodils are a good natural source of ideatrons," said Wobury. "This is why people are quite creative in the spring. Daffodil sourced ideatrons, however, are governed by lunar cycles."

The introduction of synthetic fibres, which Wobury believes came from a coconut husk generated ideatron, has led to an explosion in ideatrons, with the particles zipping around the planet.

"This is giving humans ever more ideas, of all sizes and shapes," said Wobury, "not all of them good, I might add. It is also having the side effect of hitting those animals receptive to the ideatron more frequently, and giving them ideas. Who knows Perhaps there is a duckbill platypus right now trying to work out how to use it's genetic engineering of intelligence idea."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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