Mental Health Issues? There's an app for that.

Funny story written by IainB

Tuesday, 27 September 2011

image for Mental Health Issues? There's an app for that.
iShrink...not ice rink!

People with mental health issues have a very unique need for a specific application for their condition.

This is where the latest offering from Apple Core Labs comes in.

"It's called iShrink," said App World! editor, Mac Buck. "And I have to admit, I'm not sure how to use it. However, I've given it to some people in mental health institutions to try, and they've told me it's perfect in every way."

For people with depression, when a call is not completed, the applelet provides a soothing recorded voice telling the applelet owner that they are not being deliberately snubbed, and the person they rang simply couldn't get to the phone. After every completed call, the applelet will tell them that it believes the person they rang enjoyed talking to them.

For schizophrenics, there is a function that allows the user to ring themselves, and hold a telephone call with themselves. It will ring randomly, and allow them to chat amiably between personalities. For those with multiple personalities, they can hold a conference call.

"This proved quite popular even with people without schizophrenia," said Buck. "Although, for them, the fun quickly paled."

ADHD suffers can hold up to fifty-seven simultaneous conversations and play a game of snake. The OCD afflicted are allowed to key each number in as many times as they need to before the call is connected, while agoraphobics are constantly shown a picture of their living room on their home screen.

"We couldn't get the paranoia function to work," said Buck. "I think that was deliberate. They've made it too difficult to access just for this one disorder on purpose, as far as I can tell."

The general consensus is that it is about time an app to address the specific problems mental health brings was released.

"The biggest problem with this app," said Buck, "is the name. When I took it round the mental health wards and I offered iShrink, they all thought they were going on a day trip for ice skating."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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