Natalie Wood Death Focuses on Frank Sinatra Pic

Funny story written by Karen Fish

Tuesday, 22 November 2011


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Get ready Nancy Grace. Stephen Hawking just predicted the imminent extinction of the human race in a religious nuclear World War III unless we colonize space or travel in time and all of us are fixated on Natalie Wood's death on Thanksgiving weekend Nov. 29, 1981, 30 years ago. Here comes the Frank Sinatra pic that has led the Los Angeles police to open an investigation into Natalie Wood's death 30 years ago next Tuesday.

People today think that starving Somalians invented piracy. Piracy is an act of robbery and violence at sea. Generally the pirates sail up to the other boat and hop on board, kill the people and steal their wallets. The pirate generally wears a patch over one eye in order to frighten the victims.

Until now people had suspicions that foul play was involved in Natalie Wood's death 30 years ago but there was no hard evidence. People thought that Natalie Wood's husband Robert Wagner or her friend Christopher Walken may have been involved in Natalie Wood's death but there was no hard evidence.

Nancy Sinatra planned and deliberately recorded the #1 hit song 'These Boots are Made for Walkin' in 1966. The song was arranged by Billy Strange and the music was performed by the 'Wrecking Crew'. The crew of Natalie Wood's boat consisted of one man, Captain Dennis Davern.

In a recent interview with Harvey Levin of TMZ Captain Davern basically buried Robert Wagner at sea with Osama bin Laden. The bin Laden family is currently building the world's largest building in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia, Kingdom Tower overlooking starving Somalia across the narrow Red Sea, previously parted by Moses with his staff.

Staphylococcus is a round bacteria that forms in grape like clusters. Antibiotics which kill our natural predators bacteria have caused the population of our ship Earth to skyrocket from 1 billion to 7 billion in the past century, causing Stephen Hawking to sound the alarm for all of us to abandon ship. Here is Captain Dennis Daven's account of Natalie Wood's death:

Captain Dennis Davern said: "Natalie Wood and Christopher Walken went for drinks and lunch on Catalina Island then returned to her boat the 'Splendour' named after her movie with the hot young Warren Beatty 'Splendour in the Grass.' Natalie Wood and Christopher Walken were sitting on the couch of the boat. Robert Wagner in a jealous rage slammed a bottle of wine on the table and said to Christopher Walken "Do you want to sleep with my wife?"

"Christopher Walken went to bed. Natalie Wood and Robert Wagner went to their stateroom and Captain Davern heard noises above the loud music playing, screaming and arguing. The Captain went onto the deck and Robert Wagner said "She's missing." Captain Davern wanted to turn on the searchlight but Robert Wagner said "No." Natalie Wood was deathly afraid of the water. It must have been a premonition. Captain Davern wanted to call the Coast Guard for help but Robert Wagner said "No." Robert Wagner got the Captain drunk on scotch and wine and Natalie Wood was found floating face down in a flannel nightgown in the morning."

An earwitness on a nearby boat the 'Capricorn' Marilyn Wayne says that on the night in question she heard a drowning woman repeatedly screaming "Help me, someone help me." Her boyfriend John Payne and her son also heard the cries for help. It was just after 11 pm. She callled the Sheriff's office in Avalon and was told a helicopter was coming but it didn't come. She heard loud music coming from the Splendour and an angry man's slurred voice saying "Oh, hold on, we're coming to get you." 15 minutes later the cries for help stopped.

The police never interviewed Marilyn Wayne. At the time Marilyn Wayne received a threatening note to shut up. Today Nov. 22, 2011 is the anniversary of the death of President John F. Kennedy. President Kennedy was a sailor and he and his mistress Marilyn Monroe double dated with his brother Ted Kennedy and his mistress Mary Jo Kopechne.

The 'Rat Pack' was Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr., Joey Bishop and Peter Lawford who starred in the movie 'Ocean's 11.' Peter Lawford was the brother in law of President John F. Kennedy. Natalie Wood's autopsy report disclosed numerous bruises to her arms and legs. Coroner's officials stated "Foul play is not suspected at this time. Please check back in 30 years when our confidentiality agreement expires."

A recently released Frank Sinatra pic of Robert Wagner, Frank Sinatra wearing a pirate's patch, Natalie Wood and Dean Martin shows that Robert Wagner was also a member of 'Frank Sinatra's Rat Pack.' In the movie 'The Godfather' the character Johnny Fontane (based on mob connected Frank Sinatra) cannot get a role, leading to the producer waking up beside the bloodied and dead 'Secretariat' in his bed. Instead of calling the coast guard, did Robert Wagner call Frank Sinatra to clean up the mess, or Peter Lawford? How high does the cover up go?

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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