Landau Eugene Murphy Jr., Wins The One Million Dollar First Prize On America's Got Talent

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 15 September 2011

image for Landau Eugene Murphy Jr., Wins The One Million Dollar First Prize On America's Got Talent
Landau Eugene Murphy, Jr., has been invited to attend a barbecue in his honor at the White House. (Photo by Sasha Obama).

HOLLYWOOD - The result of The America's Got Talent Final was truly a storybook ending as Landau Eugene Murphy Jr., a man who used to wash cars for a living in his hometown of Logan, West Virginia, was named the winner of this season's talent show.

Earlier in the show Landau, who is one of the nicest, most humble individuals to ever appear on the AGT stage opened the show when he sang a duet with his idol Patti LaBelle.

The two sang the 2000 hit by the Baha Men, "Who Let The Dogs Out?" AGT Host Nick "The Swizzle Stick" Cannon stood behind them and did a bit of hip hop dancing which he culminated in three back-to-back-to-back leg splits.

Murphy and the 67-year-old LaBelle, who looked pretty good in her Daisy Duke shorts and UCLA halter top literally brought the house down.

Labelle, definitely showed that the old gal can still rock it and roll it with the best of 'em and she could certainly teach the youngsters like Beyonce, Lady Gaga, Christina Aguilera, and even Nick's wife Mariah Carey a thing or six.

Landau not only won $1 million, but he will also receive a double-wide trailer, a brand new Elite Purple Alien Bowling Ball (valued at $249), a year's supply of David's Sunflower Seeds, plus he will get to attend a barbecue in his honor at The White House in which Vice-President Joe Biden will personally do the barbecuing.

The 36-year-old ex-car washer will also be headlining a show at Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas. The man who sings exactly like Frank Sinatra will no doubt go on to become one of America's finest crooners and one day he could possibly have someone like Jon Huntsman, Michele Bachmann, or Ron Paul washing his car.

Even Sinatra's daughter Nancy Sinatra has stated that Landau sounds more like her father than even her own father did.

Landau said that the very first Sinatra song that he ever learned was "Strangers In The Night" when he was only 13-months-old. He said that he learned the words pretty quick but added that he did have a little bit of a problem with the doo-be-doo-be-doo, doo-be-doo-be-doo part at the end.

The 42-member Silhouettes Dance Team finished in second place and the producer said that the cost of providing the meals for the entire group was tremendous and it did put quite a strain on the show's budget.

Third place went to Team iLuminate a glow in the dark dance troupe who describe themselves as a psychedelic Wii version of Star Wars Meets The Grandchildren of Marcel Marceau. The leader of the group informed Nick that they have been signed to go on a concert tour to Egypt where they will be the opening act for Camel Carl & The Desert Rag Headz.

And fourth place went to the young teen band from Oakland, PopLyfe, whose lead singer Kehlani "Tear Drops" Parrish let her nerves get to her during her final performance. The band played the Queen song "We Are The Champions" and half way through the song, for some reason Kehlani started singing the words to the Beatles song "Yellow Submarine."

In a related story. Mariah Carey took her and Nick's four and a half month old twins Bippy and Bappy to the show and had pictures of the baby boy and girl taken with Sharon Osbourne, Howie Mandel, and Landau Eugene Murphy Jr., but she refused to allow her twins to be photographed with Piers Morgan whom Mariah despises because of the arrogantly pompous manner in which he always makes fun of her husband's suits.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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