Erskine Quint is Lazarus and, Volga Olga, is Salome, the Pope claims!

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Friday, 14 September 2018


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Vatican 14.09.0000 AD/BC: The Pope has voyaged back in time to ask Jesus if he is behind the reappearance of an astral body that is floating through the stratosphere ready to divulge the real TRUTH behind 'The Creator' and 'The Other One down below!'

The Messiah refused to have anything to do with a 'Lazarus' appearance of the one and only, Erskine Quint (who?), so the Pope is now convinced it is the work of either Satan, an utter genius, or a total fucking nutter?

After travelling back to 2018, the Pope, sitting on his balcony, has warned humankind of the soon arrival of an entity from a different planet that could blow the cover of all global religions, send science to its grave, cause massive tsunami's, hurricanes (no lamp in this one), tornadoes and, cause mayhem all over the planet!

He is calling on all believers/non-believers from all religious fraternities to unite to thwart this attack from a maniac's cerebral cortex before it divulges to the world what really makes humans tick; a devastating truth that must remain under the Pope's robe at all costs, plus his personal servant, male of course!

However, his words fell on death ears because Volga Olga, Erskine Quint's, 85 year-old, Russian nymphomaniac hag, has caused pedophile priests to change their dastardly ways after seeing Volga Olga dance nearly naked (only the bananas were kept between her erogenous zones and the world; it's a FB thing) in Tarantino's latest blockbuster, Lethal Pussy 69!

So readers of this genial, utter, utter madness; there is no stopping Erskine Quint doing a Lazarus and, his creator believes it will be ready for Christmas shopping, meaning September because not only is his creator bonkers, the world is totally bananas and, Father Christmas is now wearing a tanga on a beach in Atlanta wearing only a lamp!!

It will be soon! (Will it?) Yes, it will.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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