Written by Jaggedone

Sunday, 8 July 2018


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image for Non-Footy Sunday at the Nutters Beach Club that opens doors solely to 'Mad Hatter' Non-Footy Nutters!
Royal Mad Hatters need protecting from Royal Mad Hat makers from soldiers wearing mad hats!

SSSHH! Do not mention it within the walls of the Nutters Beach Club, otherwise you will be ejected, non-violently, by our black and white, Eunuch doormen, Ying and Yang! Our club has been declared a non-footy zone and anybody mentioning IT will join a line of 'gang-bangers' hoping to bang Volga Olga!

We have opened the doors for other Nutters including royal hat-maker, Philip Treacy, because his hats worn by royalty in public (how dare they!) are totally, fucking Nuts, and Mr Treacy has now a VIP table alongside Mon Dieu's (Messr Cantona for our American non-footy fans) reserved, life-long table!

Now if anybody in their right mind would pay £80000 for a load of crap perched on Princess Beatrice's bonce, they must be totally bonking nuts (It would look good on BOJO though!).

So, on a holy Sunday at the Nutters Beach Club, no footy songs, jibes, Neymar videos, flags, cheerleaders (only Volga Olga in a Johnny Rotten, ripped T-shirt bearing her shriveled nipples, not to be seen on Facebook, with the infamous logo, "God shave the Queen!") or anything to do with Ras-Putin's global show of mock solidarity without a 'Trump Card' in sight!

Adios, Прощай, aufwiedersehen (were they participating?), tot ziens (they wasn't there either!), arrivederci (them too) and Goodbye (well they certainly were, are, and will be there when the Fat Lady Sings!)

We are MAD HATTERS here, but nothing compared to Princess Beatrice's 'atrocity exhibition!'

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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