The Lighthouse Keeper - A Prose Poem

Funny story written by Ben Macnair

Sunday, 15 April 2018

Mr Jones, the Lighthouse Keeper,
had an ever increasing collection of masks,
finding them on Amazon,
going for a song on Ebay,
fading celebrities,
an Amazonian Warrior,
Donald Trump, the colour of desperation,
everyday waiting for the knock.

The Postman whistling his happy little tune,
handing over the packages,
waiting for the signatures,
the always offered cup of tea,
wanting to get away from the hundreds of faces,
with no eyes.

Mr Jones liked the silence,
Time to himself,
With no disturbance,
No company,
No disturbance.

So, when the four kids,
The two attractive ones,
The two unattractive ones,
And their Great Dane with his
Liking for eight foot tall sandwiches,
It all got a bit too much.

So Mr Jones, tried on his masks,
finding the one with best fit,
and the worst intentions,
scared the kids,
and that pesky, overweight dog right off,
but he forgot about the body in his back-yard,
the diamonds under the patio,
the blood on the roof,
from the previous tenants,
and the Police came and arrested him,
put him away for years.
No lawyer would take the case,
of a Lighthouse Keeper,
hiding behind someone else’s
Plastic face.

And when the audience
Thought he was talking about a crime,
He just wanted to watch an episode
Of Everybody Loves Raymond,
The one where Robert says something
In his stupid low voice,
And the audience laughs,
In peace.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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