Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Friday, 16 February 2018


The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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My brain hurts

This is a poem about going mad. Possibly about having already gone mad.

I thought it up whilst on a bus, stuck in traffic in Bangkok. That city may have been a contributory factor in my downward spiral. Life, like the heat, is intense there, and an extended period of intensity can have an extraordinary effect on someone, particularly someone who spends a long time in isolation, away from anyone who might be called 'a friend'.

The truth about this rather long introduction is, that I have tried to enter enough text so that those horrible advertisements don't in any way interfere with the layout of the poem, as - I have found to my cost- they have with other poems in the past.

However, I have made an error.

After initially having posted this 'work', I realised that my overly-long intro was still not quite long enough, and that the advertisements still interfered with the layout, and, into the bargain, the reader's enjoyment. I have, therefore, made a subsequent change that should alleviate this. Thank you for your patience.

Well, it just remains for me to say that I hope you enjoy the poem, but, to be honest, if you don't, I really couldn't care less.


I think that I shall never see,
A thing so lovely as a tree -
On fire

I think that I shall never kiss,
The lips of a bull that's just lick'd piss -
Off a nettle

I think a dream is hard to find,
Why am I going out of my mind?

I think the time has come to act
Spontaneity, I never lacked
Why now?

I think, therefore, I am - Oh, damn!
But just not what I think I am!

Woods 2018

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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