Written by Gail Farrelly

Wednesday, 31 August 2016

image for The Bear Who Walks Upright: First Interview
"Mind your own business, or I may eat you," he advises humans.

A unique bear in New Jersey (people call him "Pedals") has made headlines doing something that humans do all the time: walking upright. Having two maimed front legs, the bear walks on his back legs, appearing to be, well, almost human. Some people pity him and think he should be captured and sent to a wildlife sanctuary. Others advise a "no interference" policy.

The bear claims that his name is Peter. And he's annoyed that people don't call him by his right name. "The name 'Pedals' is just too cutesy," he complains. The bear revealed this in an exclusive interview with a Spoof reporter (she talks bear talk). Here's some other info from the interview with Peter the bear:

Favorite activity: Going for nice relaxing strolls in the woods.

Favorite songs: "Walk On By," "Walk Like a Man"

Favorite Place in the World: Bear Mountain State Park in New York

Favorite TV or movie character: Grizzly Adams. "No contest," according to Peter.

Favorite movie: The "Bad News Bears."

At the end of the interview, the bear reminded the reporter of what Ernest Hemingway once pointed out about bears: "The gypsies believe the bear to be a brother to man because he has the same body beneath his hide, he drinks beer, because he enjoys music and because he likes to dance."

Enough said.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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