Written by Tom Sivvy

Thursday, 19 May 2016

image for The Chuck Norris Quantum Theory of the Universe
This Alien is one of the founders of the Chuck Norris Quantum Theory of the Universe

The Chuck Norris Quantum Theory of the Universe. The theory that has rattled scientists and left a big hole in my sandwich.

The Chuck Norris Quantum Theory of the Universe states that if one was to combine Walker, Texas Ranger and the Delta Force, a quantum hole in time in space will appear, and Chuck Norris will suddenly wage a war against Mankind. Sounds scary doesn't it.

This theory surfaced when Chuck Norris was the first person to time travel. He has since then battled Godzilla, killed ISIS and won a staring contest with Stevie Wonder.

The science behind this theory is simple. Chuck Norris is so bad ass, that once you combine his two most bad ass films, the bad ass factor will implode, causing a hole in time and space, as discussed above. Scientists have started counter measures to this inevitable catastrophe, and are currently trying to find a way to both eliminate Walker, Texas Ranger and Delta Force from the face of the world.

You may read more on this theory at various science magaxines

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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