Written by Noshing Mink

Tuesday, 2 February 2016

image for Donald J. Trump promises to build a big, friggin' wall around the planet to keep any Martians and other illegal aliens out - and he'll get the Klingons to pay for it
"Oh dear, someone's built a wall round Planet Earth, we'd better invade Venus instead". AS IF!

Big, bad-ass billionaire bozo Donald Trump who wants to be the next President of the United States of America told shrieking supporters that he would kick alien ass and lock them permanently out of planet earth by building a wall around the planet. He said he's had enough of watching how the pesky outtaspacers tried to conquer us in Independence Day and in the upcoming sequel, plus Mars Attacks, War of the Worlds and countless other interplanetary war chronicles.

"Donald J. Trump will build a big, friggin' wall round Mother Earth. And we'll get the Klingons to pay for it!" he screamed.

Asked why they support him, one redneck said "Donald Trump says it like it is", while another said "He tells it straight." A third said "He's not like them polly tishins in Washington. He's a breath of fresh air."

Seasoned observers said, however, that such a wall would not be an effective barrier, since any alien invasion would be vertical rather than horizontal, the Klingons aren't likely to pay for not invading us, and they're not real anyway. One caller to the Howard Stern show, calling herself Hillary, said, "All those examples that Donald Trump gave of alien invasions weren't real. They're movies."

Meanwhile, Trump lost the Iowa caucus to Ted Cruz.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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