Brendan Behan Poem Discovered

Funny story written by Auntie Matter

Friday, 18 September 2015

image for Brendan Behan Poem Discovered
Inspiration for Behan's Poem. Brendan's selection barely visible.

Among the belongings of the late great Irish writer and dramatist Brendan Behan has been discovered a short Romantic poem.

Seemingly, Behan had visited the great Irish jump race meeting at Cheltenham in the spring of 1961 and wrote the poem on the back of a bookie slip that he evidently intended to throw away. It may well have been written by him for his own amusement. It is a parody on the work of William Butler Yeats of whom Behan had no great fondness.

It reads as follows:

"Had I the heavens embroidered spondulicks, I would stick it on the next English fuckin' nag in the next fuckin' Cheltenham race providin' it is odds fuckin' on and has a crooked fuckin' jockey behind its fuckin' ears... because I have not had an honest fuckin' winner all day since I started out on me next hangover.
I have backed many a loser in my sullen way.
And not all of them were fillies.
Valerie and Beatrice stayed the course,
But I never could. They were mares bred for the distance.
I'm more of a sprinter. I see a pub and I sprint.
Too much wisdom... too little sense.
But, If I put a tenner on another Irish fucking 'cert' let it be known, that there is somewhere in a foreign field scrawled on a beaten fuckin' docket the Irish name of an Irish loser... that is forever Ireland.
A... fuckin'... men."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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