We in the Neanderthal Independence Party (NIP) feel threatened by Homo Sapiens
They may cause our lives not to have happy ends
The Neanderthal Independence Party says we are culturally unique
Though we're a little low-brow and evolutionarily weak
We have more grass roots support than Neanderthal Labour
And we'll try to reduce casual sex with our neighbours
The Neanderthal Health Service (the great NHS)
Will be sold off for bear skins so we can address
The privatisation of everything that moves
That's mammoths and bison and all animals with hooves
We Neanderthals must all club together
And not cave in to this inclement weather
And despite clear evidence of widespread global cooling
The Neanderthal Independence Party has just made a ruling
That the Ice Age is not really taking place
We think climate change believers are a Neanderthal disgrace
We in NIP believe we do not have a future with Europe
We also believe that we do not have a rhyme with Europe
We are proud descendants of Homo Erectus. Our spears will protect us.
It's in our prospectus. We trust you'll elect us.
So please vote for NIP. We're the best human species
It's not true that we're full of buffalo faeces
We hope you support us and can confidently say
That you'll have a future in someone else's DNA
