Written by Dick Sheerer

Friday, 31 July 2015


The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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image for The Case Against Recreation - Part 17: Dice & Darts
Easy Target

Dice & Darts-

Dice games are another asinine activity usually played in sleazy bars and urban alleys by brain-dead boozehounds that are too drunk to play a smarter game. They roll the dice and instantly lose their life savings, and there is little chance they will ever recoup that seventeen dollars.

A distinct breed of cretin is instinctively drawn to the game of Darts. It's a plain old game with a strange secondary aim involving a complex psychological duality. The crux of the game stems from our distant past when spear throwing was the most critical thing we did to ensure the survival of our species. The importance of the activity was so profound that the memory of it was encoded in our genes where it remained in a dormant state for thousands of years.

The presence of such a primal power could not be suppressed by cultural refinement, social sophistication, or an advanced civilization. The pressure to manifest itself was impossible to restrain, and it surfaced briefly at the Olympics in the form of the Javelin competition. One brief burst every four years was only a partial release, but not nearly enough to keep the mighty magma contained.

Until it finally found an outlet in a setting similar to its prehistoric home, the neighborhood bar, where the patrons are of similar stature mentally and physically. It was a natural fit, an ideal environment with hosts that were close cousins of their spear-throwing predecessors, separated only by time. The difference in lengths between the spear and the dart can be explained by the size differential of their respective penises.

The other alternative aspect is the psychological association of the symbolism of the Dart game. The term Dart refers to the unrefined player's interpretation as duh art; with the subconscious meaning of the dart board as a work of art hanging on a gallery wall, and the dumb Dart player showing his lack of appreciation by uttering the word "duh", while throwing a dart at it. The dart in this case symbolizes his sharply pointed criticism of the artwork (dart board).

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: life, Darts, dice

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