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Funny story: Dart trauma at Chutney on the Fritz

Dart trauma at Chutney on the Fritz

A fair in Chutney on the Fritz has hit a disaster, due to the incompetence of organisers, and an over-zealous dart thrower. Problems were caused by the proximity of a full-size dartboard and a bouncy castle. The dartboard, supplied by local pub Th...

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Funny story: Old man tempted to join new team

Old man tempted to join new team

Gary Johnson Sr, 78, and father of Gary Johnson 48, who is often featured on these pages, from Chutney on the Fritz, has revealed that after years of being on one team, he has been sorely tempted to join another one, again. He has been playing dar...

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Funny story: Darts Farts Crackdown

Darts Farts Crackdown

The air turned nasty last week when Scottish darts double world champion Gary Anderson and Dutch opponent Wesley Harms both denied responsibility for creating "rotten egg smells" on the oche. Following his defeat by Anderson 10-2 at the Grand Slam...

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Funny story: The Case Against Recreation - Part 17: Dice & Darts

The Case Against Recreation - Part 17: Dice & Darts

Dice & Darts- Dice games are another asinine activity usually played in sleazy bars and urban alleys by brain-dead boozehounds that are too drunk to play a smarter game. They roll the dice and instantly lose their life savings, and there is little chance they will ever recoup that seventeen dollars. A distinct breed of cretin is instinctively drawn to the game of Darts. It's a...

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Funny story: Elgin Marbles Row - Britain Cheated, Claims Greek Games Minister

Elgin Marbles Row - Britain Cheated, Claims Greek Games Minister

The Greek minister for skipping and street games, Mr. Aristos Popadopalus Papadopolus has accused the late Lord Elgin of cheating and using illegally weighted marbles in the 1800 contest in which he won a ship full of priceless "marble" marbles.

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Funny story: Righties vs. Lefties Extreme Darts Challenge to be Held

Righties vs. Lefties Extreme Darts Challenge to be Held

LONDON, ENGLAND - The Righties vs. Lefties Extreme Darts Challenge will be held at the Alexandra Palace next month, according to the Professional Darts Corporation. Gowan McCowan, spokesman for the group stated, "We are going to have a Righties ve...

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Funny story: Chicago Bans Dart Boards In All Drinking Establishments

Chicago Bans Dart Boards In All Drinking Establishments

CHICAGO - The Chicago City Council has just issued a city mandate that will prohibit all drinking establishments including bars, lounges, clubs, and cantinas within the city limits from having a dart board on the premises. The CCC took this measur...

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Funny story: Darts Legend Eric Bristow Thrown Out Of The Jungle

Darts Legend Eric Bristow Thrown Out Of The Jungle

Former 80's darling of the dart board Eric Bristow has ended his stay in the jungle after viewers voted him out of ITV's seemingly never-ending 'I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here!' Finishing a credible fourth, the former King of the oche was as b...

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Funny story: Cheltenham Dart Team form the British Javelin Medal Hopes

Cheltenham Dart Team form the British Javelin Medal Hopes

The three members of the Cheltenham and District Darts Club have been roped in at the last minute to compete for the British Javelin team after it was discovered that Britain's current medal hopes have all been struck down with Repetitive Strain Inju...

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Funny story: Spelling Bees to Incorporate Darts

Spelling Bees to Incorporate Darts

Spelling Bees will look differently beginning next year as officials have decided to eliminate contestants spelling words aloud. Instead, participants will throw darts at the correct word. The announced will say the word, and the speller will s...

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Funny story: Lewis beats Hamilton in World Darts Grand Prix final

Lewis beats Hamilton in World Darts Grand Prix final

In the final of the darts grand prix last night, Adrian Lewis beat Andy Hamilton in a pulsating final that was almost as interesting as watching men drive cars very fastly round a circular track for hours on end until waved to stop by a flag. Afte...

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Funny story: Angela Merkel's Darts Roundup

Angela Merkel's Darts Roundup

Guten tag, darts fans, it's your friendly Chancellor Angela Merkel here. Grab yourself a beer and turn up the oompah band, and let's enjoy that very German game, darts. Since the demilitarisation of Deutschland in 1945, Germans have not been allowed to fire weapons, blow things up, or act in the slightest way improperly, without being severely punished. So it is that every German loves to go do...

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Funny story: Britain Bestrides the World - In Slacks

Britain Bestrides the World - In Slacks

The nation consoled itself today in the face of mounting sporting setbacks by proudly acknowledging the one area of sport where British dominance is unchecked. Recent evidence that the nations footballers, tennis players, rugby players, track athl...

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Funny story: Balotelli In Training Ground Incident

Balotelli In Training Ground Incident

Troubled Man City star Mario Balotelli has been involved in another incident with the club. Its emerged that, only days after being sent off in the Champions League tie against Dynamo Kiev, the striker is alleged to have thrown a dart at a youth p...

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Funny story: British Darts Champion to Open Acupuncture Clinic

British Darts Champion to Open Acupuncture Clinic

2009 World Dart Champion, Dudley Wang, has announced the planned opening of a new-age acupuncture clinic in London's North-End, this late summer. A product of both proper British breeding as well as Eastern science and philosophy, Dudley Wang is t...

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Funny story: Mark Low Ton for John Lowe

Mark Low Ton for John Lowe

One of the greatest Legends of Darts, and three times World Darts Champion, was John Lowe, who in his prime was such a good darts player that there used to be a saying when he threw his three darts, "Mark Low Ton" because he used to score regular to...

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Funny story: Supergran challenges the Power

Supergran challenges the Power

Supergran alias great-grandmother, Georgina Anderson plays darts for her local team at ninety years of age, and helps them soar up the league tables in Aberdeen. The Supergran, has now challenged World Darts Champion Phil The Power Taylor, to a da...

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