Political Science 101: Politicians

Written by Dick Sheerer

Wednesday, 22 July 2015


Politicians have always been among the most diabolical villains on earth. Most are just mouthpieces or figureheads especially skilled at schmoozing, boozing, and losing elections. Those who win become puppets of their special interest handlers who bribe them with cash and other amenities.

It's no joke when politicians smugly utter the famous quote, "Money is the mother's milk of politics". An assortment of lawyers, bureaucrats, power brokers and con artists collaborate in the grand scheme - and in the mad scramble for a piece of the action. Manipulation is the name of the game, and power plays ensure that the buck always stops with them. Money is so much a part of politics that the image of politicians are printed on currency. George Washington was the first major politician and respected enough to be on the most common note, the dollar bill. Ulysius S. Grant by contrast was just a drunken war monger, so his image is appropriately relegated to the more obscure fifty dollar bill.

In this society each citizen is a politician. The professionals are at the top of the political pyramid, but the strategies and tactics are the same as those used by the lowest street hustler.

Many politicians use the classic tyrants' methodology by:

· Making speeches & spreading propaganda

· Censoring the opposition via death squads

· Lying, cheating and enacting laws

· Organizing conspiracies & perpetrating scandals

· Engaging in bribery and corruption, and tyranny

· Taxing citizens and looting the Treasury

· Polarizing populations to divide and conquer

· Rigging elections and seizing power in bloody coups

· Deploying nuclear missiles and waging wars

· Terrorizing enemy civilians & torturing prisoners

· Photo ops, talking points, and sound bites

· Appointing cronies in acts of despotism

· Erecting monuments in their own honor

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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