List of Dating Deal Breakers

Funny story written by Leo Montford

Sunday, 22 February 2015


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Amy - @JohnCenaGirl1989 disapproves of your flaws.

We at SpoofFeed were genuinely interested in what your dating turn-offs are and the deal-breakers that make you wanna run for the door and bail out on your date and rob them of any confidence that they had, publicly humiliate them and leave them as a mangled shell of their former self. We went out to the streets of L.A and asked some young people we found and this is what they had to say.

Girls Talk Deal Breakers

"OMG When a guy has bad's such a frickin turn off! it's like uh...what's the fricken word?'s so fricken like err...stupid." - Abigail @BeteerThenUrBae

"Oh I hate it when a guy is so vain and superficial and it's like there is no way you're gonna get in my cooter, but they also can't have a gross big ears and or a big ugly nose. Such a deal-breaker!" -Jessica @SexyJessie

"If a guy doesn't have any education above high school level then that's a major turn-off. 3 of my ex's were Neurophysicists, but they totally lacked ambition and that was like yuck...and my last ex was a physicist and a Professor of Particle Physics who worked on the Large Hadron Collider, but look how well that went! So after that it was like you're totally so dumped right now!" - Charli @Charli-Harvard-AM&BA(Hons)

"I want a tall rich guy. Short poor guys are just so gross. I mean I once dated a guy who was 5'11 and only spent like $500 on me in one night. I'M A GOD DAMN PRINCESS!" - Kaitlin @DaddysBabe46

"A man has to be strong. He has to have muscles with big sexy veins popping out of them. I once had a date with a guy that turned up wearing glasses. How is he gonna be strong enough to protect and carry me when he can't even protect and support his own eyes without help?" - Amy @JohnCenaGirl1989

"I don't like guys who don't have an unfeasibly and offensively expensive sports car. Some guys don't have that. Some people are poor. Ewwie Ew Ew what is wrong with people?"- Sofia @DriveMeAbe

Guys Talk Deal Breakers

"If a girl has small tits it's such a turnoff. What are girls for if they're not for staring at?" - Trent @TrentTittymaster

"When I shout compliments at girls out of my Mazda convertible and they don't respond - it's like laters bitch" - Anton @Car=HUGEPenis4"

"Man,'s such a deal breaker. It's like if you have problems then don't go on dates and don't bother trying with relationships or even attempting to be happy or trying to seek solace or companionship from anybody - not even your family! If you have even the slightest thing wrong with you then I will walk out on you as soon as I notice it and I'll pay for only a quarter of the meal in loose coins and throw it in your face!" - Matt @PricePerfection

"I don't like it when girls have an opinion that is different to mine! If a woman is strong or has any beliefs that are separate to my own then i'm not taking her back to see my Power Rangers' bed sheets and Nickleback poster" - Paul @TheAtheistKing

"If a girl is wearing an outfit that I don't like then it's a massive turnoff. Girls should dress how I tell them to dress." - Caylen @FAMILY-GUY-IS-DA-BEST

"I don't like girls who wear too much make-up or wear boy-like clothing, but ladies don't forget even if I don't love you GOD LOVES YOU AND JESUS LOVES YOU! - Randall @JeSuS-iS-kInG

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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