Pit of Bones

Written by Ray Bellew

Sunday, 9 November 2014

Paul Prattle is a geneticist at the Old Bone Institute in Leipzig, Germany. We sat down and talked about a recent old bone find at the Pit Of Bones. "Mr. Prattle, " I said,"before we get into the recent find, tell me a little bit about the Pit Of Bones."

"Sure, but please call me Paul. I'm not really crazy about my last name. Makes me sound like a guy who must just prattle on and on about nothing."

"Okay, Paul, so tell me about the Pit Of Bones."

"It's in Spain, and is a virtual treasure drove of ancient human remains."

"Tell me about the recent find."

"It was a thigh bone."

"Was it connected to the hip bone?"


"Go on."

"DNA was extracted proving that the thigh bone belonged to an old guy who roamed the earth 400,000 years ago. You know, come to think of it, I knew an old guy once.
A neighbor. We called him old man Bates. He slept in his garage and collected stuffed canaries."

"Paul, about the find?"

"Of course. Finding a 400,000 year old thigh bone threw a real monkey wrench into the theory of evalution."

"How so?"

"Until this find, most people in the field thought that humans evolved from a big, fat elephant."

"A big, fat elephant?"

"Sorry, I meant to say ape. When I said big, fat elephant, I was thinking about my wife."

"Well, that's pretty insulting."

"Yeah, to the elephant."

"Paul, can we get back to the 400,000 year old man?"

"Sure, but may I digress for a moment?"

"Well, I would rather..."

"Do you think Pit Of Bones would be a good name for a rib joint?"


"Well, back to the drawing board. Oh, by the way, have you ever read a book by Carl Reiner and Mel Brooks called the 2000 Year Old Man?"

"I'm afraid not."

"Funny as hell. Ever see the movie Blazing Saddles?
What about the Producers? Ever watch old reruns of the Dick Van Dyke show? Best show ever. I'll tell you, when you get Dick Van Dyke, Carl Reiner, Rose Marie, Mary Tyler Moore and Mory Amsterdam in the same room, you just know that all kinds of comidic choas is about to break loose."

"Good day, Mr. Prattle."

"Please, call me Paul."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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