Terrorism. Who's Next? Ask the Bookies!

Funny story written by Auntie Matter

Thursday, 23 October 2014

image for Terrorism. Who's Next? Ask the Bookies!
Ladbroke's Political Advisor, Mustapha Punt.

Following the murder of a soldier in Ottawa by a crazed 'Muslim' convert Michael Zehaf-Bibeau, bookies in the UK are offering odds as to what country will be next. The assailant claimed apparently that he had been "chased by the devil" leading to speculation of how he got the idea and where exactly it came from. And did the devil speak with an hypnotic American or British accent? Whether wired to do it or not, speculators in the bookmaking business have seized the opportunity to turn a buck.

Explained Ladbroke's marketing director Chance Armfield; "Well, the way we figure it is... Terrorism is good for business.. right? And these atrocities are basically promotional stunts for the New World Order boys...right? Terrorism has to be seen as a global threat; not just a desert skirmish in the Far East and, as 9/11 proved a damp squid in many ways because of the new found scepticism still growing in the sheeple-pen, more promotional events will have to be staged around the world. So, we are focusing on those countries basically that have yet to be freaked out as Canada now has been by the nightmare that there may be psycho killers wearing black beards and turbans under their beds. Global means everywhere...right? So terrorists have to be found everywhere. Simple logic. Many countries are sitting targets, if you will excuse the punt... er, I mean "pun". We have made a short list for the punter to get involved in, hopefully. You can make good money... if you don't lose your head."

The Odds listed are as follows.

UK 1/1
Spain 6/4
Ireland 3/1
Germany 2/1
Poland 7/2
France 11/4
Italy 4/1
Denmark 5/2
Norway 3/1
Albania 5/1
Austria 7/1

Select doubles;

Albania-US, 15/1
Austria-UK, 20/1
Ireland-US, 25/1

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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