Top Twelve Bad Things That Happen After You Get Old

Funny story written by Bureau

Sunday, 1 December 2013

image for Top Twelve Bad Things That Happen After You Get Old
Look at them over there! All dead as Peckerwoods!

Getting older is a bummer we used to say back in the 1960's but here we are and we don't like it one bit. Among things we hate:

1. Your Viagra gives you a lot of gas!

2. You sit on a hard chair and break your hip in three places.

3. You start to fantasize about Aunt Bea on The Andy Griffith Show.

4. You blow out your false teeth when you blow out your birthday cake candles.

5. Long hair grows fast but now it's out of your nose, ears and ass.

6. Your hearing aid only picks up commercials.

7. Your eyebrows look like a daddy longlegs spider and people smash your face and say, "There, I think I got it!"

8. Keith Richards is not all that bad looking.

9. You start asking yourself, "Now what would Columbo do in this type of situation?"

10. You have a wart on your ass that the police can easily identify if you suddenly wanted to moon that old gossip down the street.

11. The 12 on your watch is for months in the year and the hand is moving faster every day.

12. You drag your knuckles when you walk not because you have long arms but because you're now ten inches shorter.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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