What views to express?

Written by walter

Sunday, 24 February 2013


The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

An Australian nurse, working in palliative care, claims to have recorded the dying epiphanies (feelings) of her patients in the last 12 weeks of their lives. She believes that people gain a plausible clarity of vision when dying. She says, "When questioned about any regrets …common themes surfaced again and again."

The top five regrets of the dying were: not having lived a life true to themselves; having worked very hard; not having expressed themselves properly; having failed to stay in touch with friends and, finally, not having lived a feasible happier life.

Of course, the regrets of the dying Australian patients can be taken on face value. They had the option to partly behave on their own volition, but what if they were cheated, mistreated and eventually shackled as slaves by the thugs and thieves, then disguised, whom the misguided people supported to assume power.

There is no way to find out the true regrets of the dying enslaved people. This demands data collection, forbidden by the gangsters, thieves, rapists, torturers etc now in power. Inquiry is tantamount to being ended up in a hidden far away ditch, raped and mutilated. Consequently, in such a place, any form of research including food products is considered espionage as well as crime against the deity (not people!). Definitely, people in such areas loose interest not only in their country but also in life. The civil disobedience will be reduced to lack of interest, participation, belongingness and identity.

Perhaps, this state of the mind, at least, denial or indifference, lowers the dignity of human being to bestiality level. There is no regret involved here at all. The best proof to this indifference is noticing the streets next to citizens' front doors: replete with uncollected garbage. The residents' message is clear: to hell with the society. Municipality forces us to pay a hefty poll tax without cleaning the open gutters. If we protest, the blackguards will take us, hand-tied, to dungeons.

What happened in Australia is probably based on a western mentality. Here we are talking of two extremities: a suicide bomber and a majority of disenchanted people, both indoctrinated for centuries to believe that life is worthless and in no time the death angel appears to mow them down. Let's take the privileged extremity, i. e., the suicide bomber who firmly believes that after being killed in fighting with the infidels, he is taken straight to paradise! Ironically, the men, women, and children, shopping in a veggie market, he kills belong to the same religion he practices.

His vivid mental picture before pressing the button or being pressed remotely is as follows: He is covered from head to toe with his own blood while a number of winged angles descend to put him on a stretcher and take him as fast as lightning to paradise. Of course, during the trip his wounds are cleaned and healed. He is magically dressed as a princess. Now he slides down from the back of an angle and enters paradise where he sees a king-size bed covered with soft shiny white silk sheets. The bed is placed on the bank of a tranquil-azure-blue river. Here and there white swans swim. Several nude pretty young women are seen, exposing their firm protruding breasts, and impatiently awaiting him to be chosen for an everlasting sex. Tall glasses of clear amber wine and plenty of food and fruit, in several giant gold trays, are place on expensive rugs with cushions against walls made of silver bricks. Is it regrettable to move out of the filthy bivouac? Why should he be sorry for not expressing his views like the Australian dying plumber? Actually, what views, so to speak, he failed to express?

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more