Gringotts implicated in Libor Scandal

Written by HaveIGotNewsForYou

Monday, 9 July 2012

image for Gringotts implicated in Libor Scandal
Daniel Radcliffe Today, Begging, After Learning He Was Worth Nothing

The record £290m fine imposed on Barclays for attempting to manipulate the price of a crucial interest rate known as Libor - the London interbank offered rate - and its European equivalent Euribor - is likely to be chicken feed after another London based bank, Gringotts Wizarding Bank, operated primarily by Goblins, has been discovered to have also been cheating investors.

While Barclays' fine covers two main offences: the first, that traders helped each other out by fiddling the rates they reported to the British Bankers Association from about 2005; the second, that Barclays massaged its submissions lower during the banking crisis in 2008, to protect the bank's public image and prevent the government stepping in to rescue it, the Gringotts case is far more complex.

Located near the intersection of Knockturn Alley and Diagon Alley, Gringotts towers over all neighbouring shops and houses in the area and is the main financial institute within the wizarding world.

The main accusations leveled against Gringotts and its CEO Griphook are that it fixed the Muggle-Wizarding currency exchange, applied irregular exchange rates to its main currency The Galleon and misled young customers.

Currently trading at five quid for one galleon on the FTSE and Wall Street Gringotts has been accused of price fixing, with the actual value of a Galleon more realistically in the region of zero, as it is a totally made up currency and the invention of a very creative woman from Scotland.

The bank set its interest rate for loans to buy broomsticks, pay school fees and purchase spell books at 23% - way over the Wizarding Worlds recommended rate of 5%.

The final charge, that Gringotts has misled young investors was revealed after muggle Daniel Radcliffe alleged he had been swindled.

Radcliffe claims that he opened an account at Gringotts several years ago and used the bank to deposit his earnings from his acting appearances in the "Harry Potter" series of movies.

On the advice of his manager he was told to accept payment for his movies in Galleons, it now transpires, after the likely reassessing of the Muggle/Wizard exchange rate, Radcliffe's fortune is likely to be worth nothing.

This is not the first scandal to hit the bank, once considered "the safest place in the world for anything you want to keep safe" it has been the victim of several break ins and customers often complained about the smell of dragon excrement while accessing their vaults.

A statement from the board of directors read: "In view of the current scandal the bank will appoint Bob Diamond as our new Chief Executive with immediate effect. It is hoped his experience in the Muggle world with banking scandals and his staunch leadership, awareness, can do attitude and honesty will put Gringotts back where it belongs."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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