The Real Dark Night Rising Review

Written by smackbean

Monday, 23 July 2012

image for The Real Dark Night Rising Review
A Dark Knight

Black Knight Rises is the most recent film of the most recent trilogy of Batman movies. The third film follows the release of two others which people went to watch at cinemas all over the world. Set to be this summers' 'big bugger' hollywood hyper monster, the movie will be hitting our collective retinas very soon, to be accompanied by a fanfare of propaganda and viral posturing, and will be chewed on and chewed over and spat out by a litany of hangers-on and media cobblers gobblers, and film puffs. I for one can't wait, so I haven't.

The star of the film, the 'main man', is Batman played by DVD hero Christian Bale who, not many people may realise, was also in that film many years ago when he was a boy in Japan with Spitfires, which was quite good. That's surprising because unless you knew, it's hard to make the connection. Christian Bale, a good mean actor and surprisingly British for an American, stars in this film as 'Batbin' but without sidekick 'Robman' (I've just changed the names around a bit). Robman's in prison for a mugging but Batbin continues clearing the streets of rubbish. Worth it.

Dark Night Rises, the hollywood bang buster, stars two Brit actors, in it. Christian Bale himself and Michael Cain. Realistically Christian Bale is probably Welsh, but still could be classed as British, unless he's some type of dragon flaming cottages in his spare time, or maybe Scotch. Of the two Bale is better in this film as he puts on an American accent whereas Michael Cain is a butler and so (doh!) doesn't need to bother. So Bale deserves a mention, possibly even an Oscar.

Weirdly both British actors play 'good guys' which must definitely be a hollywood first. Unless you don't count Batman as a 'good guy' which is understandable.

As with any other trilogy it's best to see one and two be four three. The first one was called 'Batman Begins' (original title!). It was a really good film by the way. I missed the second one called 'Dark Knight', but given this one is Dark Knight 'Rising', they've probably got these two mixed around so it should be OK. All of them most likely are complete in their own right, without ever having to see each of the others before and after (either way), or both before or after, or just one before or after, anyway*. Best though to read, all the comics before seeing the film, otherwise it won't make any sense at all.

Anyway I dig cress. Batman Rises is a must see. I don't want to give too much away because I can't, I haven't seen it yet. It may be one of those films that actually lives up to all the hype and block bluster, who knows? It could be a turkey but I doubt it as I saw a review which gave it five stars so I am pretty confident it's not.

Quick Take: Wait for DVD - 3 Stars

* I cannot guarantee this

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more