Batman must be stopped

Written by Lyndon

Monday, 19 March 2012

image for Batman must be stopped
Anyone with balls wouldn't hide behind a mask

Batman is nothing but a strong, good-looking, rich, smart, generous son-of-a-bitch vigilante.

He can't fly. He can't bend steel or stop bullets with his hands. He can't run 60 miles an hour. He can't cast webs. What he can do, though, is kill criminals without carrying a badge. Last I checked, that was against the law.

Might as well dress up Charles Bronson in a mask and cape and send him out killing gang members.

If we like this sort of superhero, what's to stop us from just doing the same shit? Go to a costume shop, dress up like a bat, ride up in a souped up bat mobile, and kill. Last I checked, that was illegal.

Superheros are usually the first role models for kids. Eventually, these heros give way to steroid-riddled athletes. Before this happens, though, shouldn't we make sure that their superhero has supernatural powers which make it easy for us to tell kids, "He ain't really real." Instead, we're left with Batman, someone who should be in jail if Gotham City police had any balls.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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