Selected Political News for W/E 29th July 2012 - with comments

Funny story written by Inchcock

Monday, 30 July 2012

image for Selected Political News for W/E 29th July 2012 - with comments
Tuesday: Legionnaires' disease outbreak in Stoke-on-Trent

Monday 22nd July 2012


"I'd form a new coalition with Ed Miliband: Nick Clegg says he's open to working with Labour"

Source: The People

Extract: Nick Clegg would form a coalition with Ed Miliband in the next government, he told The People.

The Lib Dem leader could even stay on as Deputy PM if a general election ­replaced one governing party with another.

His new boss would then be Labour's Ed. And former Prime Minister David Cameron could be facing him across the House - heading the Opposition.

I visited Mr Clegg in his Cabinet office in Whitehall and he told me: "If the British ­people, like they did last time, say no one lot has won, then I'll be open to ­working with other parties."

So, I asked him, if Labour win the most seats can he do business with Miliband?

"Yes," he said, without much hesitation.

"If the British people said that the only ­combination which could work would be those two parties, in the same way as after the last election the only combination which could work was Conservatives and Liberal Democrats, it would be obvious that Liberal Democrats would need to do their duty."

Comment: Well that's comforting isn't it? He's getting desperate now!

Monday 23rd July 2012

Topic: Tax avoidance - David Gauke

Paying tradesmen cash in hand morally wrong, says minister""

Source: BBC News

Extract: Treasury minister David Gauke has said it is "Morally Wrong" to pay tradesmen such as plumbers, builders and cleaners in cash in the hope of avoiding tax.

He argued the practice came at "a big cost" to the Treasury and meant other people had to pay more.

Comment: "Morally Wrong": How do MPs have the nerve to mention Morals?!?!?!?

Tuesday 24th July 2012

Topic: Legionnaires' disease - NHS - Stoke

"Legionnaires' disease outbreak in Stoke-on-Trent"

Source: BBC News

Extract: Seven people are being treated for Legionnaires' disease in an outbreak in Stoke-on-Trent.

Those affected are aged between their late 40s and 75, including one woman, health officials said.

Two men in their 70s are described as "stable" and the other patients are said to be "improving".

The Health Protection Agency (HPA) said all seven patients were being treated at the University Hospital of North Staffordshire.

Prof Harsh Duggal, director of the Health Protection Unit in Stafford, said: While we do not currently have a direct link between the cases the evidence points to the fact that there is a common source."

He added: "We are taking detailed histories of the movements of the patients to see if there are similar patterns which would indicate a local source of infection.

"Legionnaires' disease is a rare but potentially life-threatening illness. It is caused by a bacteria commonly associated with water systems and cannot be passed from person to person."

Comment: Is Peter Crouch to blame? Only joking, although it isn't a joking matter! Sorry.

Wednesday 25th July 2012

Topic: Crime - Burglary - Morals

"OAP Joe, 82, fights off burglars"

Source: The Sun: Warning horrendous photo's

Extract: This is the battered and bloodied face of a heroic 82-year-old who chased two burglars down the street after being savagely attacked in his own home.

Brave Joe Carter was confronted in his home in Guildford, Surrey, when he challenged two thugs who had smashed their way in last Friday afternoon.

The pensioner stood up to the thugs as they tried to ransack his home, but was repeatedly punched in the face as he tried to fight them off.

The burglars fled with nothing but the pensioner refused to give up, chasing them down the street and along a main road for 300ft.

But Joe was forced to give up after they sped off in their getaway car.

He stopped outside a garage where horrified mechanics helped the regular customer who was covered in blood from head to toe.

Comment: Makes any decent person sick to the stomach!

Thursday 26th July 2012

Topic: Government - HSBC - Nepotists - Banks

"Pressure on Green for HSBC"

Source: The Sun

Extract: Pressure mounted on David Cameron's trade minister last night over the HSBC money-laundering scandal.

Lord Green was chairman of the banking giant when it was used by drug cartels and terrorists to filter billions of dollars in dirty money.

He said yesterday he "regrets" the behaviour of HSBC at that time - but he had "no case to answer" personally.

In a letter to shadow Treasury minister Chris Leslie, the Tory peer said: "HSBC has expressed its regret that there were failures of implementation... and I share that regret."

But Mr Leslie said: "He totally fails to address the detailed questions about what he knew."

Comment: Well fancy that, blow me, well I never!

Friday 27th July 2012

Topic: Baroness Warsi - Nepotism - Expenses

"Baroness Warsi 'cleared' over rent expenses claim"

Source: BBC News

Extract: The Conservative Party says its co-chairman Baroness Warsi has been cleared of allegations she wrongly claimed Parliamentary expenses.

Baroness Warsi's claims were probed by the Lord Commissioner for Standards.

It was alleged that in 2008 she claimed overnight expenses for staying in London while living rent-free.

Last month she was cleared of a breach of the ministerial code after being accompanied by a business associate on an official visit to Pakistan.

Comment: Absolutely Stinks Dunnit?

Saturday 28th July 2012

Topic: Near accident at Olympic ceremony

"Jeremy Hunt laughs off bell clanger"

Source: BBC News

Extract: Culture Secretary Jeremy Hunt narrowly avoided injuring bystanders when a bell he was ringing flew off its handle at an Olympics celebration.

Mr Hunt looked horrified as the brass bell sailed over the heads of a group of women on the deck of HMS Belfast.

He later laughed off the incident, comparing it to a scene from BBC comedy Twenty Twelve.

He was taking part in the All the Bells celebration on HMS Belfast to mark the start of the games.

The clearly relieved minister was caught on camera saying: "Oh, oh dear! Are you all right? Health and safety!

Comment: Typical politician - always flying off the handle?

Sunday 29th July 2012

Topic: Political Comment - Nigel Nelson


Source: Nigel Nelson - The People

Extract: When Maggie Thatcher threw millions out of work she was not too troubled by the morality of it.

Nor was John Major when back to basics turned into basic instinct with Edwina Currie. Or Tony Blair when he went to war on a lie.

As far as most politicians go moral philosophy is something best left to moral philosophers.

Then along comes tax minister David Gauke to send plumbers round the U-bend by saying it's immoral to pay them in cash.

Gauke may be a dork to bring morals into it, but some plumbers are a right shower when it comes to tapping out their tax returns.

Revenue & Customs raised £4million last year after targeting tax avoiding plumbers, and ten were arrested.

But their tax affairs are a matter for them. And we're doing nothing immoral even if we give them gold bars for unblocking the drains.

David Cameron may care to consider the morality of 15 year old Eton schoolboys smoking cannabis, a subject he is reluctant to discuss.

Police, on the other hand, don't usually worry about the morality of an activity just its legality. But two top cops told the Commons Home Affairs committee they are bothered about both.

"I came into the police service to protect the public," Humberside Chief Constable Tim Hollis told MPs. "Not to go to war with young people."

Former Cambridgeshire Chief Constable Tom Lloyd went further saying all drugs should be decriminalised now.

He added: "Youthful experimentation should be afforded the same forgiveness and understanding given to Cabinet ministers. The last thing police should be doing is arresting them."

Fewer than one in five youngsters who abstain from drugs say they do so because they fear being nicked. Their health and not drug laws are the deterrent.

So the law plays into the hands of organised crime because if drugs were legalised profits would disappear like a puff of spliff smoke.

Yet the political establishment will not even consider the case for legalisation, not least the £18billion a year in tax it would raise.

It's high time we had a sensible and sober debate about having a high time safely.

But until politicians are prepared to confront all the evidence it remains what plumbers have at night.

A pipe dream.

Comment: Down to earth comment here!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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