Conference North to be re-branded Conference UK

Written by IainB

Tuesday, 10 July 2012

image for Conference North to be re-branded Conference UK
The area covered the previously named Conference North.

The sixth level of English Football, the Conference North, is to be re-branded as the Conference UK after teams from Oxford and Cambridge were added to the cannon of clubs partaking in the division.

"We had a couple of teams from just north of London last season," said Conference Chairman, Noel Bodie. "Bishop's Stortford and Histon, both from the Cambridge direction. Now we've added Oxford City and Brackley Town."

With Worcester and Gloucester already in the division, it makes sense to rename the competition.

"Conference UK sums up this division of football," Bodie said. "We may rename the Conference South next year, depending on how promotion and relegation go. It will probably be renamed The London Conference."

Fortunately, or not depending on allegiance, Blyth Spartans were relegated at the end of last season, so the Conference Premier, the division above the Conference UK, just about has a greater total travel distance. But it's close.

"The way we look at it," said Bodie, "is that the London teams almost always have somebody willing to splash the cash to travel the length of the country, but the hard up northerners need to be eased into the greater travel distances, and by having massive travel times in the division below the Premier, the step up doesn't seem that far."

Had Blyth stayed up, and Hinckley gone down, which was a permutation going into the final day of last season, the total travel would have been 135,000 miles for the Conference UK, and 132,000 miles for the Conference Premier, a supposedly national competition, whilst the Conference UK is meant to be regional.

"In away," said Bodie, "We've had to go for UK, because with Corby in the division, there is a little bit of Scotland in it."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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