Pat Robertson Tells Christians "Don't Be Rebellious"

Funny story written by alassandra2000

Wednesday, 9 November 2011

Reporter: "Do you think that Christians should get involved in the protests going on down on Wall Street?"

Pat Robertson: "In my opinion, these protester down there on Wall Street are just plain rebellious. Christians should have nothing to do with anything like that. It'll just give us all a bad reputation."

Reporter: "So you are saying that you don't think that Jesus would have had anything to do with something like this? What about when he overturned all the money changers tables, wasn't that pretty rebellious of him?"

Pat Robertson: "Well, you see...there is a difference there. Wall Street is not selling inside the church, see. They have the right to conduct their business right where they are. These Wall Street protesters don't have a right to be going down there and disrupting their business like that."

Reporter: "So, you are saying that you support Wall Street? That Christians should be keeping quiet and letting the corrupt business practices of both Wall Street and the banks go unchecked?"

Pat Robertson: "Wall Street and the banks are not corrupt! They haven't done anything wrong! These protesters just want something to complain about, so they are picking on the stockbrokers and bankers, blaming them for their own problems!"

Reporter: "So who's fault is it, then, that all these people are getting kicked out of their own homes, when the banks aren't even able to produce the original deeds?"

Pat Robertson: "Why, it's the government that is to blame, of course. The government forced these banks to give mortgages to these people."

Reporter: Really? So these private banks, who are completely unregulated by the government, they were forced, by the government, to give out these loans, huh? Are the banks now being forced, by the government, to foreclose on these houses?"

Pat Robertson: "Well, if these people can't pay their mortgages, then they are the ones forcing the banks to have to foreclose on them."

Reporter: "So these banks had no intention of committing any kind of fraud, even after setting up so many people with mortgages that were going to graduate to higher payments that they knew the new homeowners were never going to be able to pay?"

Pat Robertson: "Of course...not."

Reporter: "And if a Christian is one of these people getting kicked out of their home, or finding themselves without a job because of the current economic situation, then you are saying they should not protest about it?"

Pat Robertson: "Yes, I am."

Reporter: "Then what do you suggest they should do?"

Pat Robertson: "Pray...and continue tithing, preferably to my organization. If they do these things, then it will all work out for them."

Reporter: "There you have it, folks. Pat Robertson's instructions to Christians on how they should behave about the protesting: don't be rebellious, and keep on giving your money to the church, no matter how little you have, and everything will work out just fine for you."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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