Queen Elizabeth II Thinks She Deserves an Emmy Award

Written by Gail Farrelly

Sunday, 18 September 2011

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Red Carpet, here she comes!

Or at least a nomination for the awards given by the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences.

The Queen has complained to friends, "Almost every time you turn on the boob tube, there I am -- attending a family wedding, presiding at a charity event, visiting a museum, attending a polo match. Whatever. In addition, my family provides constant fodder for tabloid TV shows and movies-of-the-week, but no reward in it for me. Nothing to take to the bank."

Her Majesty says she deserves better. She points out that, in addition to her contributions to TV content, she always conducts herself with the utmost decorum and would be a credit to the Academy. Never a hair out of place, she doesn't fall asleep at official functions, always wears underwear, stays clear of nightclub brawls, and refrains from texting nude photos of herself or anyone else. And she's never even had a DWI arrest.

Being a Royal is okay, Queen Elizabeth admits. But now, at the age of 85, she thinks it would be brilliant to diversify. Just a bit. An Emmy nomination or award could help her do that.

The Queen agrees with Irving Berlin, who wrote:

There's no business like show business like no business I know
Everything about it is appealing, everything that traffic will allow
Nowhere could you get that happy feeling when you are stealing that extra bow

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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